


i know you'd never lie

by discranola



Category: Half-Life, Hunt Down The Freeman (Video Game)
Genre: (does it count if its about an alien), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dehumanization, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, Not Beta Read, Self-Esteem Issues, Suicidal Ideation, adam is an alien, internalized ableism, nick and mitch are barely mentioned so no character tags for them, um whatever (dies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:21:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26444080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/discranola/pseuds/discranola
Summary: Adam knew from the start he would die. It was just a small mercy that he’d been allowed to live past his first few hours, and when he was told years into training that he would die young, he was ready.A target was an easy role to play.
Relationships: Mitchell Shephard/Nick/Adam
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	i know you'd never lie

Adam knows from the second he’s created that he’s different. 

He knows from how weak he feels, from the thousands of whispered voices he hears around him as he struggles to move. He knows when instead of cheer and celebrations, it’s being decided whether he should be allowed to live.

-

After what feels like years of discussion to his newly-formed mind, it’s decided that Adam can live. He’s told he should be incredibly grateful by his elders, that one of the patriarchs took interest in him. That despite his impairment, he’ll have a place in all this. 

He’s given many seasons to train, much more time to live than something like him would under different circumstances. He knows, from the green eyes staring back at him, that he cannot fail.

-

The stage is finally set, and he allows himself a brief moment of pride at making it this far without being terminated. His disguise is perfect, the stars finally aligning for his one moment in the spotlight, even if he won’t be himself for it.

He goes through the movements just as planned, his mind blank as his life work finally begins. If he swings the crowbar too hard and doesn’t stop, he doesn’t notice. He gets the passing grade.

-

Adam knew from the start he would die. It was just a small mercy that he’d been allowed to live past his first few hours, and when he was told years into training that he would die young, he was ready.

A target was an easy role to play.

-

The first time he gets to say his name out loud, he nearly buzzes from excitement. He was never given a real name by his peers, but choosing one to blend in later was easy. He can appreciate the simplicity of human names, and he lets himself enjoy a small part of life while he can.

-

Adam tries to stop himself from getting attached, but he was always plagued by weaker emotions. The first time he realizes his gazes have turned fond, he locks himself in his private room for days. 

Nick always puts food outside his door three times a day, and even though he never needs it he eats it anyway because the small, senseless part of his mind doesn’t want him to worry.

When he’s finally up to his standards again and lets himself out, he stays distant. He can handle another nineteen years of this. He can prove he was meant to live.

-

Adam tells himself he can manage another seventeen years in his head, shaking violently as he desperately hopes he doesn’t wake the men sleeping next to him.

-

Adam stares at the flat of his reflection in the knife he holds above his head. 

Eight years ago, he told himself he wouldn’t give in to frail emotions.

He weeps as he throws the blade into the ocean and doesn’t look back. He can do this.

-

The feeling of bullets entering his flesh is so familiar to him now, like an old friend, and yet he still has three years until he experiences it for the first and last time.

-

Four days before his final assignment, he knows he wants to do something special. He’s never been particularly good at anything outside of his purpose, but he’s tired of ignoring his feelings. 

They’re running short on supplies for the month, but Adam finds solace in the fact that this will be his last time wasting rations. 

One final time, he allows himself pride in something. He’s never been a good cook, but in the moment, with the two next to him and a cake in front of them, he can’t find the time to care about his flaws.

-

When the helicopter lowers on the final day, Adam is ready. He’s been a perfect actor his whole life, and he finally gets to play his last role before retirement.

Mitchell looks up at him with nothing but loathing in his eyes, and Adam finally understands why letting him die before his first breath would have been a mercy.


End file.
